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| RE: 'Sup, d00d? |
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 | Extraordinary Post (+3): Awarded by Shiro |
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| Jax Teller wrote: | | Is suicide the only way? That is the true question. |
I had the worst decade ever from 02 to 2012...I was jailed twice, put into a psych ward, told that my son was aborted, crashed two vehicles at over 80 mph, was kicked out of college, lost my grandmother, lost my father, lost our home and developed a number of medical issues that make life difficult. I was forced to pay child support for a son I thought aborted, forced to take anger management classes, went through (and still do) depression and anxiety, have to take various medications that make me feel ill...
The reason I bring this up is to make clear that when I say "Trust me, I thought about suicide very seriously", you can believe me.
And trust me, unless you have a terminal illness that causes you more pain daily than can ever be dealt with, and you know its incurable...then suicide is NOT the answer.
People used to say that suicide is "selfish". Well, I DIDN'T commit suicide because of how selfish I am. I still want to taste foods, and see beautiful sights, feel wonderful things, and engage in fun and pleasurable things. Yes, life throws a large amount of painful crap at you. But to only see the crap is to wear blinders to the fact that there is actually quite a lot of good and beauty in the world. Don't miss out on good tomorrow because today seems bad.
Now, I don't know what you're going through...but I know that the things I went through were hard, and painful, both physically and mentally. I hurt every day. I miss my dad more than words could ever express. I feel terrible that I fucked up college on my Uncle's dime and ashamed at the stress and anxiety I caused my parents when I rolled those vehicles (in one crash my mom was the passenger, so I caused her physical pain as well).
There were (and even are still) days when suicide truly did seem like the best answer...but here's the truth. It only seems like the best answer because in the face of so much work to improve, suicide seems easy.
Seriously, I won't tell you to "think of your family" or that feeling "suicidal" makes you weak.
What I will tell you is DON'T miss out on great food, fun times, awesome movies and excellent music, playing great games or simply enjoying the company friends. Don't miss out on everything you might miss out on. You owe it to yourself, as tough as you've been on yourself mentally, to stick around and have a good ass time.
(On a straightforward note...if you're 100% serious, and need help, feel free to PM me. We'll get you the help you need, if you want it) |
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| RE: 'Sup, d00d? |
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| Jax Teller wrote: | | Is suicide the only way? That is the true question. |
suicide may seem like an option but please believe me, it's not.
no matter what happens there will always be something to live for, even if you don't think there is at the time. there may be a load of pain in this world but there is also beauty and peace, and even if you do not see it, it is there if you search for it.
i have been really depressed about a lot of stuff and i have never been truly happy about life, i just tell people im happier than i really am half the time so i dont make them feel bad. there is nothing i can do to be happy again unless i can bring back the dead and stop people from fighting, and i can't do that. there have been times when i wished this world would end and put a stop to everyone's pain, and im not just saying these things.
but the reason i wont kill myself is because i dont think any good would come of it. even though i wont be missed by many people and i wont actually be happy on earth, i still live because i will not let death win. im going to live my life to all it can be and all i can make of it. i will live with no regrets until one day i will be at peace and die.
i hope you decide to do the same. there is always something to live for. |
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I am the Shadow Ninja.
If you need me I will find you. |
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| RE: 'Sup, d00d? |
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the last 3 posts is the reason to why kami is such a great site and jax i really hope you pull through your ordeal and get better
P.S if kami members could meet up in one place it would be cool |
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Sedo
 COYG
2918 Posts
9 Karma Points |
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| RE: 'Sup, d00d? |
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| Shiro wrote: | | I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I'll probably be a miserable distraught wreck when the first of my pets dies =( |
Thank you
Death is something that can't be helped but it's never a painless experience. When compared to a living being like a parakeet I sometimes feel like a dragon. Destined to far outlive mortal beings that I grow close to.
Two of my birds died (they were mates with one another) and I buried them together in my yard. Now it's just a lone white bird left with a bad wing.
Surprisingly busy lately, getting all sorts of things in order. My health, my pet's health, fixing my bike, seeking employment, cleaning my room, getting my personnel info organized, my slowly vanishing savings, school research, etc. Little by little I'll make progress. Starting with shaving my face forest a bit at least. I'm starting to look like Rick Grimes from The Walking Dead (dat manly beard).
EDIT: @Jax Teller I've thought about suicide once in my life, although it wasn't for reasons like Austin went through. Sometimes life becomes so overwhelming that it wears down the mental strength of an individual and suicide becomes a devil on the shoulder. There are many scenarios where suicide can be considered a preferable option. Such as an illness becoming too much to bear, a life or death situation where taking one's life would be merciful as opposed to outside forces taking it, and more.
Is suicide the only way? No, it is not. It's A way, it's an option that shows up in the most extreme situations. Calling someone a coward for thinking about such an option is rude. The individual must be going through some incredible hardships for thinking about suicide and brushing them off as cowards does not help them. What does help them is being there for them and listening to them. The first step in helping someone is to be all ears (from my experiences). If they are in financial trouble, love trouble, or things like that and they're thinking about suicide then they may need someone to help them because they may not be able to.
I kind of rambled on but what I'm trying to say in short, suicide is an option for various situations of various circumstances. If emotions had a DEFCON then suicide would be DEFCON 2. At such a point, the individual needs someone or they may lose the strength and proceed with DEFCON 1. There's no turning back from DEFCON 1 if you know what I'm trying to say.
I'm sorry for what happened to your friend and what you are going through. If you need anyone, you have all of us here at Kamidogu. |
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KamiDOHgu: Chatroom snippets! Entertain yourself by clicking the spoiler tag.
| Quote: | [01:51 AM] OfTheMoon pulls out a newspaper and begins to read
[01:52 AM] DragonFist finds a Reader Digest
[01:52 AM] Jarret91 breaks out an Nintendo Power
[01:54 AM] DragonFist: So we're going old school I see...
[01:54 AM] OfTheMoon: ... ... ... Cubs lost again ... ... *turn page* ... ... ... eyup
[01:54 AM] Jarret91: Yep
[01:55 AM] Dark_Metal: Yep |
| Quote: | | [02:22 PM] Cage_Redfield: i should quote something and put it in my sig like everyone else |
| Quote: | [12:12 AM] Shadow_Ninja: so then what were we all talking about before the excitement of me entering chat overcame you all?
[12:12 AM] OfTheMoon: Porn
[12:12 AM] OfTheMoon: Very very hardcore porn |
| Quote: | [11:37 PM] OfTheMoon: awfrcv wrvaw;wn
[11:37 PM] OfTheMoon: Sorry. Cat walked on the keyboard
[11:37 PM] Shiro: i killed him =)
[11:43 PM] Cage_Redfield: you killed his cat
[11:43 PM] Cage_Redfield: you monster
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| Quote: | [11:23 PM] only_stryker_fan pushes OfTheMoon DownTheStairs
[11:24 PM] OfTheMoon takes Shiro's pants with him
[11:26 PM] Shiro: I can't allow that moon
[11:26 PM] Shiro: because
[11:26 PM] Shiro: Shiromay Grundy Want Pants Too |
| Quote: | [02:03 AM] OfTheMoon: I want a divorce
[02:03 AM] Cage_Redfield: i get the kids and the house and the car
[02:04 AM] Cage_Redfield: you get the dog
[02:06 AM] OfTheMoon: I'll trade you a Rarity for the house
[02:07 AM] Cage_Redfield: no
[02:07 AM] Cage_Redfield: the house has internet
[02:07 AM] Cage_Redfield: which means i have access to any kind of rarity
[02:07 AM] Cage_Redfield: whenever
[02:08 AM] OfTheMoon: But I'm the bread winner. You can't pay for the electric bill..
[02:08 AM] Cage_Redfield: i'll sell my body
[02:09 AM] OfTheMoon: You'll run out of limbs and organs eventually.
[02:09 AM] Cage_Redfield: blood donation
[02:10 AM] OfTheMoon: You'll run out of blood eventually.
[02:10 AM] Cage_Redfield: sell the kids
[02:11 AM] OfTheMoon: You'll run out of man juice eventually.
[02:11 AM] Cage_Redfield: turn into a crack dealer
[02:12 AM] OfTheMoon: You'll run out of deals eventually.
[02:12 AM] Cage_Redfield: become a pirate
[02:12 AM] Tundra: for fuck's sake I'll give him money |
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OfTheMoon
 ALL-STAR
1351 Posts
17 Karma Points |
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| RE: 'Sup, d00d? |
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| Gooner wrote: | the last 3 posts is the reason to why kami is such a great site and jax i really hope you pull through your ordeal and get better
P.S if kami members could meet up in one place it would be cool |
Yes, it is the very reason I myself keep coming back here after so long.
| Jax Teller wrote: | | Is suicide the only way? That is the true question. |
As for suicide, I can say I have contemplated it a few times in my life. Realize you are not alone in thinking this way, I think almost everyone has experienced these thoughts at some point in there life. Just understand what the outcome is and the consequences that follow with it. You cause unbelievable stress and pain for everyone around you that might care about you and there is no do over from suicide. Yea, pretty much it is all over when you do it and you can't go back on it once it has happened. It is FINAL.
Anything/anyone you ever liked, loved or knew will be gone and there is nothing to reverse such a decision. I know things can get truly and excruciatingly difficult in life (trust me, I know), but know that there is another way and even if you think there isn't anyone that cares...there really is. Why would I be sitting here writing about it? The reason being, is that I care about people in this situation because I have lived it myself firsthand.
These things alone, with the realization that I had a family that very much cares for me, kept me from that terrible decision I was so contemplating. I hope I was able to shed some insight on the situation that you are in.  |
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MattDawg
The One
1922 Posts
15 Karma Points |
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| RE: 'Sup, d00d? |
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So, it's midnight on October 23rd. I'm really happy and listening to music from The Lion King like a boss.
Just thought I'd share that today is my one year anniversary with my boy. This is really important because Kami is a big part of our relationship. I want to thank everyone in the Kami family for their support because this has not always been easy for the two of us. I miss him today but I am PROUD that we have accomplished so much in just a year. Rather than feeling sad about spending today without him nearby, I choose to take today to reflect on how far we have come and how worthwhile our future will be. I don't feel so hopeless right now and that's a beautiful feeling. |
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Starfire
Real Greatness
1469 Posts
8 Karma Points |
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Orpheus
 The Fool
3286 Posts
35 Karma Points |
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| RE: 'Sup, d00d? |
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| Starfire wrote: | So, it's midnight on October 23rd. I'm really happy and listening to music from The Lion King like a boss.
Just thought I'd share that today is my one year anniversary with my boy. This is really important because Kami is a big part of our relationship. I want to thank everyone in the Kami family for their support because this has not always been easy for the two of us. I miss him today but I am PROUD that we have accomplished so much in just a year. Rather than feeling sad about spending today without him nearby, I choose to take today to reflect on how far we have come and how worthwhile our future will be. I don't feel so hopeless right now and that's a beautiful feeling. |
Congrats you 2! I'm really happy for you, and only hope that any future relationship I involve myself in is as strong as to endure what yours has up until now. |
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Shiro
 rejoice :)
9019 Posts
126 Karma Points |
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| RE: 'Sup, d00d? |
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| Happy Anniversary Alisa & Chris... may you have many many more |
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| RE: 'Sup, d00d? |
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| Starfire wrote: | So, it's midnight on October 23rd. I'm really happy and listening to music from The Lion King like a boss.
Just thought I'd share that today is my one year anniversary with my boy. This is really important because Kami is a big part of our relationship. I want to thank everyone in the Kami family for their support because this has not always been easy for the two of us. I miss him today but I am PROUD that we have accomplished so much in just a year. Rather than feeling sad about spending today without him nearby, I choose to take today to reflect on how far we have come and how worthwhile our future will be. I don't feel so hopeless right now and that's a beautiful feeling. |
Let me tell you two things..
Congrats on the one year mark. You guys haven't had it easy, but when has the good come easy? Your hard work is and will continue to pay, and I'm proud for the two of you.
Second...Lion King is my favorite Disney movie (like a boss) and I can sing all the songs from that bad boy (also like a boss). Especially "Be Prepared"...I used to nail all the voices except Shenzi (dude, that's Whoopi...I can't do her voice) Lion King is the awesomeness. |
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| RE: 'Sup, d00d? |
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Happy Anniversary both of you!
missed my English exam today because i went to a church thing about peace, and they gave me FREE RAINBOW WRISTBANDS! i know its something so stupid to be happy about, but missing an exam makes anything seem exciting! |
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I am the Shadow Ninja.
If you need me I will find you. |
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| RE: 'Sup, d00d? |
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| So I buy the iPad 3rd gen and it's on it's way in the mail, then today Apple announces the new iPad mini and iPad 4th gen. Oh well, fuck it. If I want the new one bad enough I'll just give away the one I just ordered. Gonna start counselling in a week, not very optimistic about it. |
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| RE: 'Sup, d00d? |
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| Long time no see everyone. I'm glad to come back and see people are still active. Too the people who ask why I'm not a mod anymore: I told StarFire I didn't want to be mod anymore because of my busy schedule. Whose to say? I may be a mod again soon.... if they allow me. |
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| RE: 'Sup, d00d? |
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C'mon Apple, I want my iTunes 11 update. Currently waiting for my iPad 3rd generation to be delivered, I'm still kinda pissed I just ordered it a couple weeks ago and now they announce a new generation.
All I can do is try to be positive, and look forward to things in the future. I've been dying to get my hands on AC3 and Hitman: Absolution. |
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| RE: 'Sup, d00d? |
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@Starfire Congrats to you and your man ^_^
I can proudly say that last night I finally had a nightmare of The Walking Dead, with some mafia stuff involved for some reason at a convention? Eh, at least I got what I wanted. |
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KamiDOHgu: Chatroom snippets! Entertain yourself by clicking the spoiler tag.
| Quote: | [01:51 AM] OfTheMoon pulls out a newspaper and begins to read
[01:52 AM] DragonFist finds a Reader Digest
[01:52 AM] Jarret91 breaks out an Nintendo Power
[01:54 AM] DragonFist: So we're going old school I see...
[01:54 AM] OfTheMoon: ... ... ... Cubs lost again ... ... *turn page* ... ... ... eyup
[01:54 AM] Jarret91: Yep
[01:55 AM] Dark_Metal: Yep |
| Quote: | | [02:22 PM] Cage_Redfield: i should quote something and put it in my sig like everyone else |
| Quote: | [12:12 AM] Shadow_Ninja: so then what were we all talking about before the excitement of me entering chat overcame you all?
[12:12 AM] OfTheMoon: Porn
[12:12 AM] OfTheMoon: Very very hardcore porn |
| Quote: | [11:37 PM] OfTheMoon: awfrcv wrvaw;wn
[11:37 PM] OfTheMoon: Sorry. Cat walked on the keyboard
[11:37 PM] Shiro: i killed him =)
[11:43 PM] Cage_Redfield: you killed his cat
[11:43 PM] Cage_Redfield: you monster
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| Quote: | [11:23 PM] only_stryker_fan pushes OfTheMoon DownTheStairs
[11:24 PM] OfTheMoon takes Shiro's pants with him
[11:26 PM] Shiro: I can't allow that moon
[11:26 PM] Shiro: because
[11:26 PM] Shiro: Shiromay Grundy Want Pants Too |
| Quote: | [02:03 AM] OfTheMoon: I want a divorce
[02:03 AM] Cage_Redfield: i get the kids and the house and the car
[02:04 AM] Cage_Redfield: you get the dog
[02:06 AM] OfTheMoon: I'll trade you a Rarity for the house
[02:07 AM] Cage_Redfield: no
[02:07 AM] Cage_Redfield: the house has internet
[02:07 AM] Cage_Redfield: which means i have access to any kind of rarity
[02:07 AM] Cage_Redfield: whenever
[02:08 AM] OfTheMoon: But I'm the bread winner. You can't pay for the electric bill..
[02:08 AM] Cage_Redfield: i'll sell my body
[02:09 AM] OfTheMoon: You'll run out of limbs and organs eventually.
[02:09 AM] Cage_Redfield: blood donation
[02:10 AM] OfTheMoon: You'll run out of blood eventually.
[02:10 AM] Cage_Redfield: sell the kids
[02:11 AM] OfTheMoon: You'll run out of man juice eventually.
[02:11 AM] Cage_Redfield: turn into a crack dealer
[02:12 AM] OfTheMoon: You'll run out of deals eventually.
[02:12 AM] Cage_Redfield: become a pirate
[02:12 AM] Tundra: for fuck's sake I'll give him money |
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OfTheMoon
ALL-STAR
1351 Posts
17 Karma Points |
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| RE: 'Sup, d00d? |
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Brother downloaded the Playstation Allstars beta last night. Might try it out later tonight.
Also: Yay @ Benevolent! Not the Mod-losing part but the being back part! |
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Macy
 SHAZAM!
3622 Posts
47 Karma Points |
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| RE: 'Sup, d00d? |
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| Orpheus wrote: | So, this gorgeous girl I always see on our department... She's gonna be my classmate for the next semester.  |
just don't get friendzoned |
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Sedo
COYG
2918 Posts
9 Karma Points |
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| RE: 'Sup, d00d? |
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I stopped stressing about my Visual Arts and Multimedia major projects this week since I figured out what I will be doing. Art one is kinda meh. I hope it at least looks good.
Veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery excited to start my Multimedia one, though. |
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Thanks to Orpheus for the signature!
13/2/11- Tundra joins Kamidogu
6/7/11- Tundra enters the Warrior's Shrine
August 2011- Tundra becomes Member of the Month
13/2/12- One year of Kami
13/2/13- Two years of Kami
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Hunger... I need it... a drop of it on my tongue, sliding down my throat, the hot flash in my brain lighting up my body... I can smell it everywhere... blood. |
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Tundra
Slayer
7481 Posts
29 Karma Points |
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Orpheus
The Fool
3286 Posts
35 Karma Points |
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| RE: 'Sup, d00d? |
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| Macy wrote: | Brother downloaded the Playstation Allstars beta last night. Might try it out later tonight.
Also: Yay @ Benevolent! Not the Mod-losing part but the being back part! |
Thanks Macy. |
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Kamidogu | Forums | General Discussion | 'Sup, d00d?
